Outside Addiction

Posted on May 7, 2007

Like many people I believe that some how living overseas has helped me develop as a person. It has allowed me to become bilingual, and have a broader understanding of the world. And in that sense I guess it has. But I have not come close to the goals that I had once set for myself during my high school days. I have chosen the long path and believe there is no easy way to happiness. In my home country with a little hard work I have accomplished the same things that people my age have a new car, small condo and a credit rating.

Things that make an easy start for any newly weds like my wife and I.

And yet I came back to Japan with my wife and decided to start with the couple thousand in savings. Am I crazy? With all the pressure that this country puts on a person to succeed you would think that I would take the path I had already made back home.

But I can justify my illogical reasoning. I have spent many years here in Japan. First high school exchange, than working holiday, lets not forget two years of college and last but not least one year of university. These things do not make me special or am I looking for recognition I am just giving background for my point of view.

Having come to the conclusion that I will be trudging the difficult path I have come back to Japan, It can be assumed that I am addicted to pressure. That's not saying that it betters my lifestyle or makes me try any harder than I regularly do. The feeling that whatever you have accomplished so far is not enough always lingers in the air and in the food and when you cross the street. And I like it.

Now that I have to accomplish things not just for myself but for my wife as well, the pressure is almost comforting. It allows me to think of the never-ending possibilities that are available here that I do not have access to in my home country. With the strong cultural background and social structure that stretches deep into the realm of hard work, forgiveness, and reward for dedication and with the ability to choose path that you never thought existed it seems that maybe I have chosen wisely.